Flyer Skit
By: Susan Wall
Character list:
Persistent Flyer Girl (PFG): Susan Wall
Timid Flyer People (TFP):



Audience Flyer People (AFP):



Intro:
PFG walks onto stage with several fliers in hand followed by TFPs and begins to pass fliers out.
PFG: Café Expresso! Come one, come all! It’s like a talent show, but it’s not! Don’t ask me how that works! No winners no losers! Just a lot of fun! Support the Literary Magazine! Please! [walks up to AFP] You there, you don’t have a flier, you need one, just take it!
AFP: But I don’t like this kind of thing. It looks stupid.
PFG: I don’t CARE if it looks stupid! Just take the stupid flyer! [tosses flyer at AFP and walks away handing out more to general audience]
TFP: [handing out a flier to AFP]
AFP: [crumples it up and throws it at TFP] Oh.. okay.. sorry. [Walks away]
PFG: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? You’re just going to let them walk away while treating you like that?
TFP: They’re not walking away, they’re sitting there. And why should it matter?
PFG: Whatever. Point is, you’re not being assertive. Tell them you mean business, they might actually read it.
AFP: Yeah right, lady, like anyone would show up to a lame thing like this.
PFG: HEY BUSTER!
AFP: My name’s not buster.
PFG: Whatever. You’re being lame. You don’t want a flyer? Fine. But don’t mistreat us. And for that, you’re getting 2 fliers. Get over it.
AFP: What? You’ve got to be kidding m-!
PFG: Does it look like I care? [moves on to other people] CAFÉ EXPRESSO! GET YOUR INFO FOR THE NIMPHO! (oops did I say Nimpho?) I mean.. GET YOUR DATA FOR THE… for the.. AHHHH!!! THIS IS INSANE! JUST TAKE A FLYER! [hands out rapidly]
TFP: uhhh hey, susan..?
PFG: WHAT?!
TFP: [cowers down a little] c-c-c-can you do my stack too? I want to eat lunch…
PFG: I haven’t eaten lunch either though… [hunches forward looking defeated] yeah sure. [takes stack. All other TFPs come and give their stacks to PFG] WHATS THIS!?!?!
TFP: Oh.. we figured that you should get the flyers ‘coz you’re the one who actually hands them out. So… have fun with that. [exult]
PFG: [looks at fliers, looks back at audience, looks at fliers again, looks back at audience. Throws up the papers and becomes angry] THIS IS REDICULOUS! I’M THROUGH, YOU GUYS ARE ON YOUR OWN! [pulls out finger gun, cocks it, ‘shoots’ (audio). Falls to ground.]
[in the background (audio clip) there is a shriek and PFG comes back to life. PFG shakes head, picks up a flyer, looks at it]
PFG: Say, this looks nifty! I’ll go! Hey! Guys! CAFÉ EXPRESSO! COME ONE COME ALL! LIKE A TALENT SHOW BUT NOT A TALENT SHOW, DON’T ASK ME HOW THAT WORKS!... Oh who am I kidding. TAKE THE STUPID FLYER! [throws them at front of audience]
[END]